BREAKING NEWS: Metamoris Bought by Eddie Bravo

It’s no secret in the jiu jitsu world that Metamoris is both one of the most popular/talked about promotions as well as one of the worst run businesses out there.  With problems stemming from inability (or unwillingness) to pay their athletes, issues with recurring payments drawn from the accounts of subscribers, snubbing female competitors amongst many other questionable choices it’s safe to say that Metamoris is a mixed bag.

In a stunning turn of events, the now far more favorably viewed promotion EBI (Eddie Bravo Invitational) has announced the full purchase of the Metamoris brand.  That’s right; you’re hearing it here first: Metamoris will now be owned and operated by none other than Eddie Bravo.

“So I was sitting in my living room the other day watching ‘Reefer Madness’ and it hit me… what if I BUY Metamoris?  We can call it ’Eddie Bravo PRESENTS Metamoris’ and have it be a BJJ Extravaganza” Said the perpetually stoned founder of 10^th Planet Jiu Jitsu.

This news comes as quite a surprise given that Metamoris recently released a fascinating lineup, but when Marcus “Buchecha” Almeida asked for them to pay for his travel expenses (a $57.25 bus ticket and permission to sleep on Ralek Gracie’s pull-out sofa) the G-In-A-Gi balked and admitted that he has been living in his father’s basement for the past 6 months.

“Guys, I’m broke.  It’s really hard to admit it but I spent all of my money on making promo videos, and I just can’t afford to pay anyone anything.  I’m hoping that Eddie sets things right with the people to whom I owe money.”

When discussing the debt that Ralek Gracie has incurred Eddie Bravo said this:

“My last two EBI events made me enough profit to be able to take care of the debts, pay the competitors in advance for this upcoming Metamoris event, set up a following event AND buy a sweet new bong.  I’m stoked that my competition has become my next cash cow.”

The upcoming Metamoris event will feature an amazing lineup:

Matheus Diniz vs. Yuri Simoes

Ralek Gracie vs. Tim Spriggs

Gilbert Burns vs. Dillon Danis

Secret Match

Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Satoshi Ishii

Marcus “Buchecha” Almeida vs. Roger Gracie

Eddie Bravo has also announced a special exhibition match that he has added to the card:

Renato Laranja vs. Joe Rogan

The newly revamped Eddie Bravo PRESENTS Metamoris will take place on July 17^th and will NOT feature EBI rules but rather stick to the format that fans are used to.

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