Reader Question: “What to do if the other parent wants them to quit?”


A JJT reader asks: “My ex wife has been fighting me relentlessly about my daughters quitting BJJ.
She doesn’t think they are learning and that its counterproductive.

They are only 5 and seem to have fun and don’t ask me to quit.
I am trying to figure out a way to get her to stop.”

Jiu-jitsu Times: This is a difficult question to answer because it is not strictly a jiu-jitsu question.

It involves the issue of decision making within a relationship with your ex-wife about your shared children.
This, unfortunately is not uncommon with ex-spouses.

I guess my 1st question would be: Is it really about the actual benefits of jiu-jitsu (or any other activity) for the daughters,…OR is it about some other relationship dynamic?
Only you can answer that question and it is a private matter between you 2 parents.

The only practical advice I have for you here is to talk with your ex-wife and illustrate the benefits for your daughters of continuing jiu-jitsu.

You could outline the problems with bullying in school and the terrible emotional toll that it can place on a young person.
Bjj helps equip a young person to deal with bullying and not to be a victim.

It is also a structured activity that combines:
1) Physical fitness – inactivity is a growing National health concern
2) Self defense (and what parent is NOT concerned about their children’s safety?)
3) An environment where the values of respect, self discipline, cooperation and self confidence are nutured and taught.

Perhaps some Jiu-jitsu Times parents can share some of their own advice in the comments.

Good luck with your problem!

A Reader Question on Jiu-jitsu Times : “Hi there, I wanted to ask from which age can kid start his Jiu-Jitsu lessons. My son is 3 years old, is it too young?”

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