Three Types Of BJJ Enthusiasts Who Irritate Me

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I’m a BJJ enthusiast, and I’m sure most people reading this are, too. Why wouldn’t we be? Brazilian jiu-jitsu is not only a great form of self-defense, but a great way to keep in shape.

Furthermore, getting through the first few years of jiu-jitsu — where you have to deal with the frustration of being helplessly tossed around by upper belts — demands a heavy dose of enthusiasm.  If you’re not enthusiastic about the art, you’re probably not going to make it past blue belt.

But even though I love jiu-jitsu, there are people out there who love it just as much — if not more — than I do, yet drive me insane. These people either feel the need to put other martial artists down or shove their love of BJJ down everyone’s throats.  Some of them are mildly annoying. Others drive me into a rage.

And here they are…

The Disparager 

There’s a special place in Hell for this arrogant @&$#$, and that’s why he’s at the top of the list. The Disparager believes BJJ is not only the best martial art, but the only worthwhile martial art. Every other martial art — from karate, to judo, to krav maga — is nothing more than glorified dancing, according to him.

Ask this guy what he would do in a fight against a Muay Thai Champion, and his response will be something along the lines of, “Muay Thai? Give me a break! I’d just take the fight to the ground and he’d be done!” The possibility that he’d be knocked out cold before he was within a meter of the Muay Thai Champion doesn’t even go through his head.

Don’t get me wrong; some “martial arts” deserve a hearty helping of ridicule. Virtually anything from the hilarious Facebook page Dumbass Martial Arts deserves to be both laughed at and spat upon. The same could be said about fake martial artists we’ve called out before.

But while there are certainly martial arts that deserve to be thrown into history’s scrap heap, there are many that don’t. Judo, Muay Thai, and boxing all have a lot to offer the martial arts world.

And yes, even certain forms of karate are still valuable.  It amazes me how many people forget about Lyoto Machida, who managed to become a UFC Light Heavyweight Champion and multiple-time championship contender using a primarily karate-based style. UFC Hall of Famer Chuck Liddell and former Welterweight Champion Georges St-Pierre also have strong karate backgrounds.

Before you talk trash about other martial arts, make sure you’ve done your research.

The Fanatic

This guy just won’t shut up about BJJ. Everything that comes out of his mouth is “armbar this” or “leg lock that” and if you try to start a conversation about anything else, he’ll either be disinterested or find a way to change the subject back to his obsession.

It’s not only conversations, either. Everything this guy does is BJJ related. He’ll show up to his own wedding in his spats and rashguard and demand the priest change “kiss” to “kimura” in “You may now kiss the bride.” And, of course, the only reason he’s marrying his bride in the first place is because the state told him he can’t marry jiu-jitsu.

Okay, maybe that last paragraph was an exaggeration. But still…

Let me make something clear; I don’t wish any harm upon these people. Not only could most of them destroy me in a fight, but if anything, I admire them. Most people struggle to find an answer to the age old question about the meaning of life, but the Fanatic found it for a little over a hundred dollars a month.  I can’t help but be envious.

All that the rest of us ask is that he give us a break and talk about something else for a change.

The Missionary 

Closely related to the Fanatic, the Missionary is not only obsessed with BJJ, but won’t rest until everyone around her is obsessed with it, too.  Everywhere she goes, she’s preaching the gospel of Our Dear Lord Helio and promising everyone who gets within ten meters of her that if they embrace Brazil’s soft art, they’ll find the same happiness she’s found.

“You gotta try jiu-jitsu,” she’ll tell you. “Just try it once. I promise you’ll be hooked.”

To a point, I can understand the Missionary. It’s natural to think that if something brings you happiness and fulfillment, it will do the same for others.

But that’s just not how people work. Case in point: I have a son, and I love him more than I ever thought I was capable of loving anyone or anything else.

However, I also recognize that some people are perfectly happy being child-free. And you know what? I wish those people nothing but the best. Why shouldn’t I? Many of them are my dearest friends.

Furthermore, I realize that what interests me doesn’t necessarily interest my son. That’s why I do BJJ and he does Wing Chun.

The Missionary also never thinks that her actions might have the opposite of her intended effect. Pushing people usually makes them less likely to do what you want them to do. Think about it: if I went up to you and literally rubbed my favorite book in your face while saying “You gotta read this book,” over and over again, would you really want to read it? Probably not. If anything, you’d probably call the cops on me.

We humans have different ways of finding fulfillment and happiness in life, and we need to find these on our own, not with others pressuring us to do them.

Remember: BJJ is for everyone, but that doesn’t mean everyone has to do BJJ.




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