What To Do After Your Child Quits Jiu-Jitsu

So, you went through all of the steps in my previous article (What To Do When Your Child Wants To Quit Jiu-Jitsu), but you were unable to stop your child from quitting jiu-jitsu. 

What do you do now?


Shake your fists at the heavens and scream “Why, God?!? Why?!?”

Choke him?

You can if you want, but these tips might be a little more helpful (and legal).   

Respect his decision

As counterintuitive as it sounds, the best thing you can do is respect your child’s decision.  Fighting with him will only strengthen his resolve to stay away from the art.    

You also need to remember that quitting will not necessarily serve as the death knell of his jiu-jitsu career.  Plenty of people start jiu-jitsu again after quitting. 

Case in point: Kron Gracie.  At twelve or thirteen years old, the son of the legendary Rickson Gracie quit jiu-jitsu to pursue skateboarding.  Today he is an ADCC gold medalist with black belts in judo and jiu-jitsu. 

Quitting may simply be a speed bump in your child’s jiu-jitsu career.  Do not fool yourself into thinking it is a wall.   

Remind her that she can always come back

You daughter needs to know jiu-jitsu’s doors are open to everyone, even those who quit.    

Tell her that all of her friends in jiu-jitsu miss her and hope to see her again soon.  Let her know that her instructor says “hi.”  You may even want to suggest inviting her to a competition so that she can cheer her friends on.     

If he does go back, don’t be a sore winner

If your child does decide to go back to jiu-jitsu, do not make him feel like you were right and he was wrong for quitting. 

Statements like “I knew you’d come back” accomplish nothing besides making him feel like you beat him in some type of contest of the wills.  It could even rekindle his desire to quit. 

Also, do not overreact.  Screaming “I’m so happy you’re going back” at the top of your lungs and giving him a huge bear hug will just make him uncomfortable.    

Instead of responding with excitement or a humilating “Told you so,” act like he never quit in the first place. 

Simply ask him when he would like to go back and offer him a ride.     


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